• Roxii Hoare-Smith

My Embarrassing Life

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

If you follow me on social media you’ll know that a lot of embarrassing things seem to happen to me.

On a daily basis something weird or embarrassing will happen to me and it appears to be just me. My awkwardness seems to get me into the strangest and most cringiest of situations. So I thought I’d round up some of the best, funniest and down right most embarrassing things that I have happened to me in the past month alongside a few outfit photos I took recently in Chelsea. (Which was also slightly embarrassing as after I took these photos I realised the person in the blue house was home and probably saw this little shoot happen).

So I’ve picked out the most cringe worthy things that have happened to me over the past month…

UPDATE: Hours after this post went up I had another embarrassing moment which may have topped it all! Free yoga classes are offered in my flat so I’ve just started going and really loving it. This afternoon I was listening to Radio 1 and they spoke to a girl who had been to the gym/yoga and was so embarrassed after realising her leggings were ripped and she realised why everyone had been staring the whole time. Feeling paranoid I decided to examine my leggings I wore to yoga this morning. Turns out my leggings were also ripped at the crotch area revealing my hot pink underwear to my male yoga instructor. I don’t think I can show my face there again. (It was literally just me in the class as well so I wasn’t even hidden hahaahahaha help).

1. I ran into a glass door, I thought things like that only ever happened in cartoons. (More on that here)

2. I went on a press trip and as we were all saying our hellos I put a bottle of water between my legs and accidentally squeezed my legs together which made a tiny bit of water squirt out. It made me jump so I panicked and squeezed my legs together harder and created a huge waterfall drenching myself and everyone around me. It was a nice way to welcome everyone I guess.

3. I was at cash desk in Topshop and as I pulled my purse out to pay there was a tampon stuck to my purse. A large queue behind me saw. (Don’t worry it was a brand new wrapped tampon, I guess it could have been worse…)

4. We’ve recently moved house and I’d kept quite a low profile in the building until one night I managed to get myself locked out and had to get security to let me in. I then went to cook dinner and had to keep asking someone (who was eating their dinner) to keep helping me cook because I had no idea how to work an induction hob and then get caught running back to my room holding a saucepan of hot chicken. (I was trying to make a quick get away before I embarrassed myself even more). This all happened in a matter of about 20 minutes.

5. Shortly after that I managed to set off the fire alarm in my room which set off the fire alarm in everyone’s rooms (there’s 500 people living in the building). I was only trying to fry mushrooms. In my panic of trying to open a window I knocked everything off a shelf and smashed a large drink dispenser and then phoned up my boyfriend in tears and security ran up to my room. It was all very dramatic.

6. I live on the 4th floor so waking up to a man cleaning my window wasn’t what I expected the other morning. I hope he liked my Mr Tickle pyjamas…

7. I spent my lunchtime with a woman I thought genuinely needed help and let her use my phone to go on her emails. She then told me she was emailing people at her old work demanding £21million. When I finally got my phone back she insisted she come to my office and watch me work all day. Other people who were also innocently sitting nearby enjoying their lunch were listening in on all of this too…

8. I went home to visit my parents and we went out to the pub. We were chatting away when my mum’s glass of wine lit up and was vibrating! Turns out someone had thrown a cock ring into it. I’m pretty sure just being in my presence is a curse…

9. As I mentioned in my Tesco Wine Fair post, everyone we spoke to at the tasting thought my 63-year-old dad was MY BOYFRIEND. “So we assume you two are together?” “How long have you been together?” “Where did you meet?” SMH.

10. I was walking around Notting Hill and a man was calling me. I looked at him really confused and he looked around sheepishly then whispered “excuse me, your skirt is tucked in!”. Turns out I’d been walking around for the past hour with my skirt tucked up under my rucksack so everyone could see my bum. Thank you everyone else for telling me!!!!!

11. I recently tried to show someone my tattoo on my hip completely unaware that I’d also flashed my knickers until they told me. That day I decided to wear the granniest of granny pants. We didn’t speak again after that.

12. After an important meeting I looked in the mirror and saw I had a huge tea leaf covering the whole of one of my front teeth. I must have looked so professional.

13. I tripped and slipped over more times than I can remember.

So, is your life is as embarrassing as mine?

I’ll be sure to update you all next month with more embarrassing stories.

What I’m wearing…

Coat – Pretty Litte Thing

Choker – AdHoc

Top – Bershka

Trousers – H&M

Boots – Topshop

Lipstick – Mac Matte lipstick in Chilli

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