• Roxii Hoare-Smith

It Costs £0 To Be a Decent Person

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

Admit it, we’ve all spoke about someone we’ve seen in the street at some point. I’m not going to pretend I’m perfect and say I haven’t. But people need to realise that 1 second joke will last with the victim a lot longer.

So I want to talk about how you can be a nicer person because it doesn’t cost a thing you know?

I felt very Harajuku in this dress so this is my best kawaii pose. 

So seeing as being nice doesn’t cost a thing, it confuses me why there’s so much hate and negativity. It will always baffle me why some people get a thrill out of making it obvious that they are talking horribly about you and belittling you.

In my aims for 2017 post I mentioned I wanted to express myself even more through my style and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. And to be honest, it hasn’t gone too bad. I love living in London as no one really bats an eyelid if you get on the tube wearing all pink or wearing bright blue lipstick. People are used to it.

Perhaps I took it too far in Rome wearing this outfit (and pairing it with a pink coat and pink lipstick). I felt self conscious enough already but then I saw people making comments about me. I thought I might be over thinking and imagining it even when I could feel people walking alongside me whispering and sniggering. My mum then confirmed it to me when she came over to tell me if I’d noticed these girls giggling and taking photos of me – the exact ones I’d been feeling uncomfortable around and I hadn’t even told her them! (Now this was completely different to my selfie experience in Beijing haha, see here). She had been standing behind them and saw their screen and unfortunately for them they didn’t realise we were together. I didn’t say anything to them or ask them to delete it, although I really wanted to. So let me know if my photo appears on ‘Rome’s worst dressed’ site or something, yeah?

What I’m Wearing…

Dress – Lazy Oaf Boots – Zara Bag – New Look

I should be used to this but I don’t think I ever will be. It winds me up so much to the point that I find myself waving, pointing back and glaring evilly at people.

No one deserves to be humiliated like that. Perhaps I shouldn’t dress so bright or so different but how about I wear whatever I want? Shouldn’t I be able to wear a bright dress or lip without being treated like a fool?

It’s funny how the size of the group can affect how people humiliate you. I’ve dealt with people laughing at my appearance or my dad’s appearance (see my dad here) so I’m quite the professional at spotting people whispering about us. If it’s a couple they normally stop talking and look away embarrassed but if there’s 3 or more people giggling away with their friends then they won’t care if you notice. Because they’re in a group and you’re alone, so they feel superior to you.

I was excited to spend the day in Rome celebrating the day of my mum’s 60th birthday but instead I spent it feeling hurt and longing to go back to my hotel to change my outfit and rub off my lipstick.

I wrote this post firstly to raise awareness on how being kind doesn’t cost a damn thing and why you should think twice before putting someone down, even if it isn’t to their face. So next time you see something funny think about your actions before nudging or whispering to your friend. That one second joke that you’ll forget straight away will linger with the person you are talking about for much longer. If your friends are the ones pointing and laughing, don’t join in to please them. Be the bigger person.

Secondly I wrote this to assure myself, and my readers, that you/I should continue to style ourselves however the hell we want and ignore the negativity. Because you’ll go a lot further in life being nice and being positive.

(So in the future if you feel like you really really have to show or tell your friends something about someone, then please be more discreet about it).

So I’m sticking to my 2017 aim of not giving a f**k what people think of my outfit. But it is times like that that really do set me back.

But these experiences also make me stronger. It’s not just about strangers in the street it can also be people you know. Over the years I’ve been told by people I know that they don’t like my hair or don’t like my outfit but it’s just pushed me to develop my style more. It can also be further comments like “You won’t get very far in life”. (Which you’ll be surprised that people actually said that to me when I first started the blog!)

Just think before you do or say things. A little positivity can get you a long way.

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