• Roxii Hoare-Smith

13 Steps to Happiness

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

13 Steps to Happiness

Before I start here is a bit of a disclaimer. I’m not claiming to be the happiest person in the world nor do I think my tips will cure sadness and issues in the world. I don’t think that I’m a therapist either. BUT I do know that from personal experience over the past month or so a little change in your ways can change your whole mind set.

I don’t want this to be one of those cringey self help posts but I hope this advice will really help some people like it has with me.

1. Stop stressing 

JUST STOP. Because whatever you are stressed about you’ll probably look back and laugh at this time next year!

Easier said than done, I know. Everyone says I’m so chilled and calm but those who know me well know that I am stressed ALL THE TIME. I think I’m just *sometimes* good at hiding my stressedness. Even if there’s nothing to stress or worry about, I’ll find something to be stressed about.

I’m not saying I’ve stopped stressing altogether but I’ve decided to try to care and worry a little less this year about things, and it’s working! My stress levels have really decreased. I’m taking the attitude of ‘what will be will be’ and ‘it all happens for a reason’. Because stress won’t change anything, plus it’s normally all ok in the end anyway. And if it’s not, remember as I said stressing won’t change a thing!

2. Take time for yourself

This is crucial. One of the most important things is to look after your health and wellbeing.

This year I’m trying to take more time for myself and stop doing things to please others. More nights in and doing what I want and not just doing things to keep other people happier. You’ll feel so much more relaxed and refreshed and in turn you’ll feel motivated and experience more success.

It’s totally fine to take a break from social media and your email for a bit and relax.

(I’m feeling a bit of a hypocrite because I do burn the candle at both ends and I’m really suffering from a heavy cough and cold this week – probably because I just do too much sometimes. But I’m definitely following my own advice though and before falling ill I was feeling great!)

3. Find a new hobby

I’ve recently taken up yoga. A hobby I would have never have thought of trying a few months ago because I was too embarrassed that I would be terrible at it. But I’ve stopped being so negative about myself and I’m now worrying less about whether I look at fool if I can’t do something. It was so worth taking the plunge as I’m loving it. It’s totally chilled me out and I feel so much more relaxed and just positive about everything.

Do something different which you wouldn’t normally do and it will really boost your confidence. Also it’s great finding something new that you enjoy and look forward to doing. It may take your mind off anything that may be bothering you like work, money etc.

4. Stop feeling guilty

I always feel guilty for absolutely no reason. I always feel like I have a reason to be guilty, especially if I decide to do something that will benefit me/make me happier and not anyone else.

Unfortunately you can’t keep everyone happy and not everyone is going to like you. Plus whatever you feel guilty about may seem like a bit deal now but you’ll be laughing at it next week wondering what you were freaking out about.

5. Drink more water

Probably sounds a bit of a weird one but drinking more water has really improved my mood, energy and health. I’m less lethargic and sluggish than I was when I drank less or more sugary drinks and juices.

I get bored of the taste of water so I wasn’t drinking as much as I should. I’ve recently developed a strange obsession for hot water with honey. I’m drinking so much of it that my water intake has increased dramatically.

This has given me more energy and it’s really improved my skin (less spots yay!) which automatically makes me much much happier (and makes me stress less!).

6. Say ‘No’ more

Over the past few years I have totally overloaded myself with work and social events to keep people happy and because I felt like it was what I needed to do. I’m going out a bit less than before and feeling better for it. Also (unfortunately!) I’m turning down a lot more opportunities as it was just stressing me out too much trying to balance it all.

I’m now finding a healthier balance between work, blogging, freelancing and my social life and it feels SO good. I don’t worry as much or feel as guilty about getting things done. I used to think I needed to accept every opportunity as it wouldn’t come again or I needed to have a regular blog schedule to keep up the traffic.

I’m posting less content now but more content that’s ‘me’ and my traffic has really increased. Which is the opposite to what I expected would happen!

7. Be Positive

Being more positive is the absolute key to happiness.

Everyone tells me that I’m such a positive person and always ask how I do it. I’m positive about other people but never myself. I’m always putting myself down whether that’s how I look or how I work. I didn’t realise how negative I was about myself until I really thought about

I totally believe that the more positive you are about things the more positive outcomes you’ll receive. So stop saying you can’t do things and have more belief in yourself.

8. Put yourself first

I guess this doesn’t apply in every situation but hear me out first.

I rarely put myself first. I’d always put other people’s happiness over mine. I wouldn’t do something because I didn’t want to hurt people but that’s totally ridiculous.

By putting myself first more often I feel more relaxed and my head isn’t spinning at 100MPH. Which means my friends and family don’t have to put up with a stressy me or can actually have a conversation with me without my mind elsewhere thinking about what I should be doing.

9. Surround yourself with the people you love

Toxic people will bring you down, drain your energy and make you feel bad about yourself. If your friends don’t make you feel loved, inspired, thankful or feel good then should they really be your friends?

I have no time for people who make me feel rubbish for the way I look or the things I do and enjoy doing. I never make anyone feel rubbish about what they like so why should I put up with it? I don’t need that negativity in my life. Yes life can be hard but don’t waste energy on complaining and being negative. Focus on the good and how to have a brighter future and use a tough time as an opportunity to grow and learn.

I’m so fortunate to have amazing friends and family who support everything I want to do such from crazy ambitions to utterly stupid ideas.

10. Do what you love

Stop listening to other people and just do you. Still now people laugh at me for the bands and music I like and it may have taken me about 10 years but I’m finally starting not to listen.

Listen to that band you like, wear that blue lipstick…everyone is entitled to like what they like. So what if you like different music or fashion to someone else? It doesn’t change you as a person. If it makes you happy just do it!

Sometimes I have weeks where I just want to listen to my favourite bands from when I was 15/16 so that’s exactly what I do and it can change my mindset within minutes.

Basically stop worrying what people think. It’s a lot easier said than done as I struggle with this a lot but I’m getting a lot better at it and it turn it can totally improve your confidence.

11. Nothing is Perfect Social media isn’t real. Before Christmas I was forever looking at social media and longing to look like those girls on Instagram. I still do it but not as bad as I was.

I’ve learnt that nothing is perfect. We all put on a show like things are ok on Instagram but social media can be pretty fake. You’ll be surprised at the amount of messages and comments I get saying ‘is your life ever sh**?’ or ‘are you ever sad?’. Yes I am human I do get sad and I do experience sh**. Plus most people are not going to put all their negativity on social media are they? I want to show the cool things I’ve done or the things I like, not what I don’t like.

I’m blessed to have amazing friends and family so to me life is pretty much perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing. But no ones life is 100% perfect, but I try to look on the positive side more and so should you. Stop wanting what other people have and comparing yourself to others and focus on how to improve your life.

12. SMILE Smile more. Love more. Compliment people more and trust me you’ll feel 100% better.

Laughter and love is so infectious. Also compliments can totally lift someone’s mood as well as your own. The other day I was having a coffee meeting and the waitress come over to interupt to pay me the nicest compliment ever and she really made my day. Positivity and happiness is contagious so share the love. 13. Read

This post isn’t a sponsored post but I’ve been reading The Secret and The Power by Rhonda Byrne and I’d highly recommend checking them out. Sure some of it can be a bit cheesy but the books have some really good points and can really transform your way of thinking.

& What I’m Wearing…

Coat – Zara

Suit – New Look

Top – Topshop

Shoes – Asos

Bag – New Look

Lipstick – NYX Liquid Suede in Jet Set

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